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About The upper left edge. (Cannon Beach, Or.) 1992-current | View Entire Issue (March 1, 1994)
A PAOt FROM XOCIOMIICO On Feasting Palnergast > Conviction Rats Like Bloodhounds Saved By Candlelight A Roar In The Night by Doctor Xochomilco That night I ate dinner at Seronera Lodge in the Serengeti, Tanzania. East Africa. Southern Hemisphere, Earth, third planet from the sun in a solar system of nine planets in a galaxy named after a candy Par I had a light meal. Put some accounts would have it that I feasted By accident. I sat w ith two German women and an American py the name of Palnergast whose eyebrows were Drought together in the center of his forehead as if in permanent prayer The siience after the spar, Gappy and Palnergast were in a funk, disgusted Gerta had not said a thing Quite unpopular. I was. however, fine and dandy The topic had Peen Somal ia Mi 11 ions of starving people versus im perialist American fo rc e s . you see Ive never starved, Put once I slept two nights on a bench, eating a banana for breakfast, lunch and dinner - the same one, that ,s Then there was that stretch in Taiwan where my neighbors went round sampling the stray dog population I kept hoping they d invite me over it was insanity Palnergast told Gabby that he d tried before to reason w ith me. to forget it, it is useless Gabby was downright caustic Palnergast said he was stuffed A zebra cantered in front of the vehicle as we drove back to the bunkhouse The outside light had been le ft on so there were Dugs a-plenty Along the walls, cluttering the floor, crawling over the window screen Real exotic ones, too I tucked my mosquito net round the m attress, and when the light was nixed I trickle d quickly away into that much acclaimed gutter between re a lity and dreams And I did the time-space tw ir l A Huey thundering over some bleak god-forsaken scape Blank sky, white sun, frying-pan desert Somalia Palnergast s ittin g opposite looking airsick, and w ith those worried eyebrows I'm feeling fine Below us, something Four life forms, barely I motion the p ilo t this is the spot Rodger Down we go, rotors whirling, slapping, a red dust devil rising The door opens The black, emaciated life forms They are thinking, Angels7 Devils7 No, human beings Palnergast is wreched from his seat, yanked out the door Standing there disheveled in the desert of his convictions, I te ll him he s going to take a tumble down Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs real fast, but that if he gets started before the sun evaporates his senseless hide, he can make the UN re lie f station in Baldoa a scant twenty klicks due east, whichever way that is I note that some say logic taken to its inth is illog ica l I motion to the barely life -fo rm s w ith bloated bellies we carry on board, saying, perhaps the same holds true for starving Anyway, something to ponder over in his wanderings Raving mutely in the rotor wash, Palnergast s hair whips w ith the q rit of the resurrected dust devil My heel is just grinding Palnergast s fingers from the landing skid when Ben7 W illard7 Quite right - and all the rest of rat pack back home in the bunkhouse They bound across the ra fte rs like bloodhounds, poured up from the cracks African w ild life , get your camera Hey, whattayas think this place is 7 A H a bitra il7 Rats were all over the place Planergast h,gh-tailed it and slept in the car the three of them drove in on I found out later when Palnergast and Co had gone on, the rats came for the bugs - crunch crunch crunch The bugs that kamikazed the candle flame, crackling and popping in their own funeral pyre In the morning they were p e trifie d in a puddle of dried wax I li t a candle and the beasts retreated from the light like the lit t le furry vampires they were into every nook and cranny Greta thanked me Gabby peeped she wanted one too by her bed Fine I slept like a stone Alone, several eves later I awoke to hear a lion roar I had never heard a lion roar before, but the instant it seized the night, s tille d the savanna, somehow grazed my throat, my liver, my stomach, my heart, w ell, it was clear enough what prowled out there, along the venues of darkness $ ty A •z , - r • • " ♦» n • •• OSBORNE W O R K IN G H TVIM O A GALLERY n t U 'r r i i > sau o ( ntfmi ' okaky a ORIGINAL FINK ART, KMA1J MOTION PRINTS. GHATH1C& CVMMFKi IAI ART AKi H m d T V K A I RKNHKK1N<.- ACUOTOM FRAMING »IIM N FSS HIM Its Fnday. S»iurd»t A Sutxb* 1100 am 600 pm M ui " H i «<v H " * (>» 6.IY M aitrun ila A*rnui PO boa XH Ma.'.Uk.uU> U><« 5 03 3<i8 ‘*-1» 75 IS lib e r t y Is the only thim j you cannot have unless you are w illln q to qive it to others W illia m Allen W hite A in 't Moborty's B u sin e ss I f You Do (th e Absurdity o< Consensual Cr imes in a fre e Society) by Peter M cW illiam s Prelude Press 8139 Santa Monica Blvd Los Angeles, Ca 9 0046 1-800-LIFE-101 $22 95 This is a provrxrative book' M r McW illiams examines the costs, economic and social, of what used to be cal led Victimless Crimes", but which he prefers to call Consensual Crimes, and makes a very strong arguement for getting the Oover nmen, out of the m o ra lity business The dust jacket alone w ill provide hours of stim ulating debate "What ore consensual crim es9 A consensual crim e is any a ctivity - c u rre n tly illegal - that does not physically harm the per son or property of another The idea behind this book is simple As an « k ilt, you should be allowed to do w ith your person and property whatever you choose, as long as you don t physically harm the person or propery of another Here are a few facts a More than 3 5 0 ,0 0 0 people are in ja il right now for consensual crimes An additional 1 ,5 0 0,0 0 0 are on parole or probation a More than 4 ,0 0 0 ,0 0 0 people w ill be arrested this year for committing consensual crimes a We w ill spend more than $ 5 0 ,0 0 0 ,0 0 0 ,0 0 0 (yes, that's b illio n ) this year punishing people for "crim es" that do not physically harm people or property of another a We w ill lose an additional $ 1 5 0 ,0 0 0 ,0 0 0 ,0 0 0 this year in tax revenue a The only thing that saves us from all having gone to ja il for consensual crim e at one time or another is the inefficiency of the system Why can I we just live and let liv e 9 If we did, we d a Reduce per sonal income tax by o n e -th ird a Create 6 ,0 0 0 ,0 0 0 tax- pacing jobs a Stimulate the economy a Reduce reel crim e by freeing police to catch ( "Commies'"), transvestism, not using safety devices (such as motorcycle helmets and seat belts), public drunkenness, laywalkinq. loiter inq. and vagrancy ( as long as they don I become trespassing or distur bing the peace) This is not just some old hippy wantmq to legalize pot, no, this 800 page plus volume wants us to re-exam ine our society and its attitudes toward personal freedom and gover nment responsibilities He includes A P rim e r of American Self-Oover nment 1 Understand, honor and p re ro rve the C onstitution of the United States 2 keep forever separate and distinct the legislative, executive and judicial functions of gover nment 3 Remember that government Delongs to the people, ts inherently' inefficient, and that its activities should be lim ited to those which government alone can per form 4 Be vigilant for freedom of speech, freedom of worship, and fr eedom of action 5 Cher ish the system of F ree T nter pr ise which made Amer ica great 6 Respect thr ift and economy, and beware of dBbt 7 Above a ll, lei us be scrupulous in keeping our word and in respecting the riq h ts o f others (B y P h ilip D Reed) The book could be dull and preachy, but is very funny andean be read w ith greet onjcymenl and am harassment by both lib e ra ls and conser vatives Also thr oughout the book on every pa^i almost, are quotes that w ill make you lough or groan or wonder We tvorve included some of our favorites in this issue o fth e fd g e We called the publishers and talked to Ed" and he said that this is the "only" book available on th is subject. and that it is now 5 0 1 off at mosl bookstor es, so p ie « » buy lots of copies. H apparently 13 not selling as well as was hoped It is a shame, because these days w ith the OCA. the religious r ig h t , Lottery Mania, AIDS. Crack Oang War fare, and the over - crowded prison situation, not to mention jobs, taxes and the environm ent, th is is a valid option that should be dicusi«d, debated and decided So. don , le, the size scare y o u - - It s a funny fast rend - - nor the pictures of the near ly naked folks on the dusl jacket prevent you from tak mg the subject ser lously (Available now at Cannon Beach Books) reel crim in als - m urderers, robbers, rapists, a a a etc Unburden the court system Double available ja il space Free the federal authorities to track down polluters, te rro ris ts , consumer fraud, and savings and loan embezzlers (and prevent such h a lf - a - t r ill ion-dollar travesties from recurring) a Create an environment in which people can live their own lives in their own w a /, free to experiment, free to fa il, but also free to succeed ’ M r M cW illiam s goes on to list the most popular consensual crimes gambling, recreational drug use, religious drug use, prostitution, pornography and obscenity, violation of marriage (adultery, fornication, oral sex, anal sex, bigamy, polygamy, cohabitation), homosexuality, ragenerativedrug use and unorthodox medical practices ( Quacks'"), unconventional religious practices ( "C u lts'"), unpopular p olitical views I